You know if you had told me that once I was a nurse months would go by like weeks and you would be done with a year, or two or three....in no time, I probably wouldn't have believed you. I thought surely the extra days off would make up for time wasted. NOPE! It seems like I graduated, started working and here I am almost 3 years later, a RN on the CICU floor at Hendrick. What just happened???? Didn't I just go through the torment of possibly failing my final exam and failing NCLEX? Didn't that just happen last month? Hard to believe all that I have learned and the amount of patients I have cared for over this short period of time. It is by no means how they portray it in Nursing school. It is exhausting, stressful, thankless, repetitive, and the most rewarding job. Crazy as it sounds, you really do push yourself through a hellish 12-14 hour shift to maybe save someones life that day or just make their family feel more at ease about the patients condition. I still wonder daily if this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life at the ripe ol age of 33. And I sure did have a hard time dealing with Pulmonary Hypertension patients after Nikki's passing. I didn't ever think I was going to overcome taking care of a patient with that diagnosis and just not break down in tears. However, I did manage slowly to focus on the other issue for those patients and worked through it. This whole nursing thing can get quite complex. The way I figure, it's not hurting anyone to help others and hey I am actually kinda good at it. Not sure where I am going to go from here, I want to go back to school. I don't know how far I will go, but the way time is running out, I better think fast!
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