My Son

Late at night when all the world is asleep

I lay in my bed and begin to weep

When I think my whole world is gone

I think of something to make me strong

My son is the most joyous thing in my life

Never would I ever have to think twice

Of leaving him anywhere without me

That’s the way it will always be

How can people abandon their child

Maybe their scared or they’re wild

But anyone who can understand that a child is a life

Can make it through any trial or strife

So I thank the Lord for my beautiful son

Now another life has just begun

And I will be there through thick and thin

I’ll never weep at night again

Don't want to hear it

Sometimes I feel like I am screaming without a sound

You look deep into my eyes but your ears are bound

I can’t communicate what I feel through our talks

You close up and we are done, and off you walk

I feel like your frustrated with me beyond belief

And all I know to feel is sad and riddled with grief

Am I ever going to be able to talk to you through an issue

Or is it an ongoing battle of me talking right through you

How can you expect me to feel when I can’t understand your mind

You are reserved yet complex and yet caring at the same time

I realize I’m not perfect and you only want to help me be

Sometimes you make me feel stupid in the process but you don’t see

I can’t win for losing, it’s nothing but fail / fail

All I do is listen and try to respond but u just hammer the nail

It’s hurtful that you think I don’t support you, but I do

I just want whatever people see to be the true you

I don’t want a person that doesn’t want to be on my team

You think I am ungrateful and a spoiled queen

The fact of the matter is, I thank my lucky stars everyday

I am healthy, I have kids that love me, and I turned out this way

We came from different worlds that is very true

We are different in age, upbringing, even morals too

All I can promise is that I’ll try my best to understand

But I can’t do that if you remain a one man band

Let me put in the effort to understand what you mean

Give me your perspective and explain everything

I am great at taking a different point of view

But if you don’t give me a chance, there is nothing I can do

Battle of the Inside

From back in the day to current,  I  write to express my feelings about someone or something in my life without bias.  I feel like I should post them and see if anyone else can relate to such feelings. Maybe I am not alone.  Maybe what I write is exactly what someone else is thinking / feeling too. 

This one I called "Battle of the Inside."

Sometimes I want to scream as loud as I can

I want to punch hole in the wall with my hand

Put a frown on my face that would pierce through eyes

Use a tone in my voice they would all despise

No matter what route I chose it wouldn’t mean a thing

It would just be over looked, not heard, a big nothing

It doesn’t matter she’ll get over it, just a phase

If they only knew the build it has, they would be amazed

Everyone has a breaking point that is eventually reached

It just so happens that mine has yet to be breached

It’s coming though I feel it, day by day, hour by hour

My heart becomes accustomed to beating without power

I am defeated and fighting a battle that’s already won

Not by me but the army of everything that’s already done

What can I do to change the past, present and what to come

Is there even a point anymore, whats done is done

Take some more medication, write in your blog

Do all these tasks to numbly move you along

I don’t want to, I want to live and scream out loud

I want to be better, and do what makes me proud