Panties and Paper?

Now don't get me wrong I love our dog, Fedor.  But he finds any panties he can to chew on and drags them about the house, on the couch, under the coffee table etc.  It is only a matter of time  before we have a visitor that finds some for us.  Can't leave the bathroom doors open, he loves to dig any paper out of the trash so he can pull it apart with his teeth to leave a mess for me.  Every day there is a point where I look at the ground or couch and say "REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?"